It has been really difficult to write my blog during this time of Covid19 isolation. When I sit down to write I want to encourage readers to stand strong and trust God (my latest blog), but so many others are doing such a great job doing that already. I’ve considered totally ignoring everything going on around us and just telling my readers what I am doing during this time, but that isn’t very exciting because I’m not doing ANYTHING!! So I chose my third option, which was not to write much at all. But yesterday things just started getting to me and I kind of lost it (my poor husband)! So I have decided to just be open and honest with my readers and tell it like it really is.🤣🤣

So many things have changed my normal way of living in the last six weeks.

I’ve never been told to stay in my home and am only ‘allowed’ to make trips to the grocery store. Not only are my movements restricted but I’m being told that because of my age, I am considered ‘high risk’ for this virus. I thought the ’60s were the new 40s……boy that has really changed! I can’t go visit my kids and honestly, my kids don’t want me to visit because they want to protect me. I can’t visit my mom who is 93 because I want to protect her. I don’t live close to family but I can only imagine how hard it is for those who are living in the same town as them.

Then there are all these questions running through my brain like: What will remain changed with all of this? Will I always be considered ‘high risk’ now? Will my mom be afraid to leave her little apartment for fear of catching this virus and dying? Are my grandkids only going to know me from facetime and won’t know me by my kisses and hugs anymore? Will our world change so much that we have to live in separate worlds from now on? So many questions with so few answers.

MY EMOTIONS HAVE BEEN ALL OVER THE PLACE. I go from being angry, to feeling scared, to experiencing extreme loneliness, to being over sensitive and then under sensitive. It’s like I’m starting menopause all over again!! Am I alone in all this?? I don’t think so.

So what do I do?

I tried just ignoring all these fears and concerns but dismissing them didn’t make then go away. When we think we’re hiding them we really aren’t and those around us will confirm that! As painful and disturbing and embarrassing as it is I have had to open up and admit I have been worried about all of this and what the future will look like. As I’ve done this I am also realizing it is ok to have these feelings and emotions. That it is ‘normal’ and everyone has them in times like these. What I can’t do is allow my thoughts and fears to dictate my emotions. My fears, I’ve discovered, are not usually based on reality, or truth, but are almost always based on assumptions. What if’s. When I let fear take over, my emotions take over, and I become irrational. That is not what I need now. My mind needs to be clear and my thinking needs to be based on truth.

Here is what I am doing to relieve my stress and dispel my fear:

1. I am reminding myself I am not alone in my concerns and that it is ok to have them. Psalms 23:4 “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.”
2. I am living day by day and not getting too far ahead of myself in assuming what the future might look like. Today has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”
3. I am not hiding my concerns anymore but addressing them openly by asking those I trust for wisdom. Proverbs 22:17 “Listen to the words of the wise; apply your heart to my instruction.”
4. I am reminding myself every day and sometimes moment by moment that God is in control and I don’t have to fear. He has already gone ahead of me and will be there when I get there so I don’t have to worry. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

I’ve written all of this to hopefully encourage you and to let you know YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Around the world, we are sharing a similar experience as we are trying to protect ourselves from the COVID19 virus. My prayer has been that this experience will cause us all to realize how much we need each other and that our only hope of surviving any virus is by trusting in God’s grace and healing power. I run to Him every day and thank Him for sending His Son to die on a cross for my sins to give me life eternal. This life I’m living now is not forever but I know my forever life is secure because I have given it to Christ. If you have realized you need Jesus in your life I would encourage you to begin to read the Bible and ask Him to come and meet you right where you are. He cares!

FOR NOW, I AM DREAMING OF THE DAY I GET TO HUG MY GRANDKID’S NECKS AGAIN!