I am in Lincoln, NE this week where I lived for 25 years and where my daughter and son-in-law and their 8 children live now and also where my 90-year-old mom decided to settle for her final years. So, even though I moved from Lincoln to South Florida 4 years ago, I find myself back here often. On Monday we remembered my dad who passed away 5 years ago. I happened to spend the afternoon with my mom and she was asked to play the piano (she has played by ear for a long time) for the Memory Care Center in the complex she lives. She is living in the Independent Living side. These patients love her piano playing and she loves playing the old hymns for them. As she played I could see my dad standing next to her singing harmony….as they often did when he was alive. All of a sudden I was crying….and I could hardly speak. It totally took me off guard. She wasn’t crying at all. But I was a basket case. And I am not typically an emotional person.
This season of change and transition has opened up a part of me that is very vulnerable. I cry easily. I laugh easily. I feel lonely at times. I don’t know if I particularly like this “feeling so much” me. But, I have noticed that it has made me think of others more. I’m not as critical as I have been in the past. I forgive and allow for mistakes in me and others when I have always been hard on myself and others in the past. Maybe this is a good thing. I’m beginning to realize I will never be perfect and I can’t expect others to be perfect. Without God’s help, I would actually be nothing!! I’ve always known that but now I feel it!!
Maybe that is what this season is all about.…tenderizing….marinating….a time when the seasoning that comes from life’s experiences is finally getting into my spirit and making me full of flavor so God can use me more than ever before. You know….”salt of the earth”. Marinating takes time and tenderizing has to be beaten into you. I guess it depends on how tough your piece of meat is. God knows how much we need.
When I first arrived here in Lincoln my 7-year-old granddaughter gave me a card she had made just for me. The front of the card read: To: Nana From: Tori. She had drawn a picture of earth with a moon and stars. When I opened up the card it read…..You will do one big thing. She had a picture of me with a helmet on and the moon. Of course it made me cry and laugh. (The thought of me going to the moon made me laugh!)
The Rev. Billy Graham died this week at the age of 99 and we were all reminded that our lives will count if we just do what God asks of us and no more. THAT ONE BIG THING!